living and dying in modern times

All around me lately there are pregnancies, births and deaths. Of course, everyday, everywhere this is the case but lately I've been really noticing it. Perhaps it's because the tireless march of time is so clearly etched in my life each time I look at how big my babies are growing, every time I look in the mirror and see not a 12 year old looking back but a woman.

I was discussing with my mom how I believe that children are supposed to lose a grandparent while they're children, how that is a lesson in the great circle of life. Lose a pet; learn about grief, lost a grandparent; learn more profoundly about grief, and on it continues so that when we eventually lose a parent or spouse or God forbid a child we have a foundation of grieving and healing on which to lean. Longer lifespans mean that a great many of my contemporaries have never experienced death or loss despite being well into their 30s.

Conversely more and more people are waiting into their 30s and even 40s before having children (or electing not to have children at all) so a great many people in their 20s and 30s have never experienced a new baby coming into their family (nuclear or extended), have never seen first hand how life altering a new addition can be. People who believe that new moms are like Rachel from "Friends" - the baby mysteriously disappears when it's time to hang and have coffee with the gang.

Does this cushion lead to a generation more self-centred and less aware of their place in the loop that is life? A generation who fall apart when faced with loss, or even change? A generation more likely to try every medical intervention available to extend living even in the absense of life? A generation more prone to murder their pregnant wives rather than cope with the addition of a new person to the dynamic?

I wonder.