Daycare Dilemma
Warning: this is really long.
I've spoken endlessly about our tight financial situation. Daycare is certainly one area where we're paying far more than we can afford (about 2/3rds of my take-home pay goes straight to the sitter) but we've been justifying it because we've known our daycare provider forever and the kids are happy there.
That being said we've been thinking more and more and more about what we can do to reduce that expense down to something manageable. We don't qualify for subsidies. We discussed asking the sitter if she could reduce our rates, at least for awhile, but once we decided to talk to her about it she jumped in first with a rate increase (surprised the snot out of us and left us speechless). So yes, that means the daycare we already can't afford is now more expensive. So what are we left with? Finding another daycare provider I guess.
Our neighbour used to babysit Katie when she was tiny (from 7 months until 18 months). She stopped watching Katie because she became very ill and needed surgery and a lengthy convalescence. We weren't all that upset, she was exceptionally loving with Katie but we worried about her ability to keep up with a very active toddler, were concerned about the lack of educational stimuli she received there and were frankly sick of having to provide all of her food, all of her milk, stroller, pack 'n' play, basically everything.
So - we found a stay at home mom of one nearby who watched Katie, provided her with lots of games, outdoor play, nutritious food and snacks and affection. All that and well cheaper than the Italian lady! She was perfect. She watched Katie full time until I went on maternity leave with Jonah, and a couple of days a week when I was home so that I could spend one on one time with the baby, rest, do chores and run errands. Our bliss lasted until she became pregnant with her second child. She decided, rightfully, that she couldn't watch Katie and Jonah and her own newborn, especially with her older child starting kindergarten.
So - we called F, who had watched James after school when he was younger and who had been our back-up sitter for the past year anyway (when out SAHM sitter had appointments or was sick). She agreed to take on our two little ones, and told us that her regular rate was $30 each/day but she was going to give us a discount (since we have two) to $25 each/day. Sounded fine to us, more than we were paying our SAHM sitter but still doable, plus her house is set up like a daycare with loads of toys, a huge fenced yard, etc. I showed up the Friday before I was to report back to work for a visit (so that Jonah could get used to her and the other children) and we spent some time playing. The as I was leaving F says "so you know it's $30/child/day", and I said "uh, you said you'd give us a discount to $25 since we have two", and she says no, $30 is a discount, her regular rate is $32. Well I was floored but what could I do? I had to be at work at 9am Monday! So we tightened our belts and away we went. And it's mostly been good - but more and more lately there are things that are really bothering me: she lets them watch too much TV (and you *know* how much I hate TV), she let's Katie play on the computer too much (sure it's educational but really it's just a big interactive TV without the commercials isn't it?). She doesn't use that big backyard enough - in fact there are more days where they stay in all day then there are days where they get to play outside. The biggest issue I have is that I feel she's watching too many kids to be giving my kids the individual attention they need. She has in her care full time 3 babies under 2 years old, 1 2 year old, 1 three year old and one four year old, plus she has part time an almost 2 year old (2 days per week) and a 5 year old (half days every day). Surely that's too many? So add to all of that the rate increase (effective immediately, no warning) and you can see my dilemma.
I know who the best person to care for my children is, but I can't afford to stay home. My job not only comes with a paycheque but also benefits: medical, dental, eyeglasses, prescriptions, I can't begin to guess the value of all of that insurance (paid $160 of the $230 Katie's glasses cost).
So what do I do? Since my Italian neighbour's surgery and long convalescence she's gotten into fantastic shape and now seems to have more energy than I do. Do we take the kids back to her? They'd get fresh air and lots of individual attention but no educational stimuli. Do we look elsewhere, through an agency or centre? And how will we know if a new person will be a good fit with the kids?
Why does it have to be so hard?
I've spoken endlessly about our tight financial situation. Daycare is certainly one area where we're paying far more than we can afford (about 2/3rds of my take-home pay goes straight to the sitter) but we've been justifying it because we've known our daycare provider forever and the kids are happy there.
That being said we've been thinking more and more and more about what we can do to reduce that expense down to something manageable. We don't qualify for subsidies. We discussed asking the sitter if she could reduce our rates, at least for awhile, but once we decided to talk to her about it she jumped in first with a rate increase (surprised the snot out of us and left us speechless). So yes, that means the daycare we already can't afford is now more expensive. So what are we left with? Finding another daycare provider I guess.
Our neighbour used to babysit Katie when she was tiny (from 7 months until 18 months). She stopped watching Katie because she became very ill and needed surgery and a lengthy convalescence. We weren't all that upset, she was exceptionally loving with Katie but we worried about her ability to keep up with a very active toddler, were concerned about the lack of educational stimuli she received there and were frankly sick of having to provide all of her food, all of her milk, stroller, pack 'n' play, basically everything.
So - we found a stay at home mom of one nearby who watched Katie, provided her with lots of games, outdoor play, nutritious food and snacks and affection. All that and well cheaper than the Italian lady! She was perfect. She watched Katie full time until I went on maternity leave with Jonah, and a couple of days a week when I was home so that I could spend one on one time with the baby, rest, do chores and run errands. Our bliss lasted until she became pregnant with her second child. She decided, rightfully, that she couldn't watch Katie and Jonah and her own newborn, especially with her older child starting kindergarten.
So - we called F, who had watched James after school when he was younger and who had been our back-up sitter for the past year anyway (when out SAHM sitter had appointments or was sick). She agreed to take on our two little ones, and told us that her regular rate was $30 each/day but she was going to give us a discount (since we have two) to $25 each/day. Sounded fine to us, more than we were paying our SAHM sitter but still doable, plus her house is set up like a daycare with loads of toys, a huge fenced yard, etc. I showed up the Friday before I was to report back to work for a visit (so that Jonah could get used to her and the other children) and we spent some time playing. The as I was leaving F says "so you know it's $30/child/day", and I said "uh, you said you'd give us a discount to $25 since we have two", and she says no, $30 is a discount, her regular rate is $32. Well I was floored but what could I do? I had to be at work at 9am Monday! So we tightened our belts and away we went. And it's mostly been good - but more and more lately there are things that are really bothering me: she lets them watch too much TV (and you *know* how much I hate TV), she let's Katie play on the computer too much (sure it's educational but really it's just a big interactive TV without the commercials isn't it?). She doesn't use that big backyard enough - in fact there are more days where they stay in all day then there are days where they get to play outside. The biggest issue I have is that I feel she's watching too many kids to be giving my kids the individual attention they need. She has in her care full time 3 babies under 2 years old, 1 2 year old, 1 three year old and one four year old, plus she has part time an almost 2 year old (2 days per week) and a 5 year old (half days every day). Surely that's too many? So add to all of that the rate increase (effective immediately, no warning) and you can see my dilemma.
I know who the best person to care for my children is, but I can't afford to stay home. My job not only comes with a paycheque but also benefits: medical, dental, eyeglasses, prescriptions, I can't begin to guess the value of all of that insurance (paid $160 of the $230 Katie's glasses cost).
So what do I do? Since my Italian neighbour's surgery and long convalescence she's gotten into fantastic shape and now seems to have more energy than I do. Do we take the kids back to her? They'd get fresh air and lots of individual attention but no educational stimuli. Do we look elsewhere, through an agency or centre? And how will we know if a new person will be a good fit with the kids?
Why does it have to be so hard?
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