It's my freakin' name moron

My name is Valerie. It's 3 syllables long. It's NOT Val! How freakin' hard is that? Does it really take that much extra energy to say "Valerie"??? I don't really care how you pronounce it, French, English, Swahili, whatever, as long as it contains 3 SYLLABLES! I've never invited you to call me Val, I don't like Val, I've pitched numerous fits at numerous individuals for using that truncation. I GRUDGINGLY tolerate a few friends calling me that simply because they are people who are not going to change their habits any time soon and their friendship means more to me than two syllables but YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND! You are a professional, and as such please address me PROFESSIONALLY using my full name.

There, I feel better now.