Saturday, July 09, 2005

an update

We've been on vacation. We didn't go far, just to the cottage, and we went with another family so it wasn't exactly peaceful but it was wonderful just the same. The kids spent 5 days outside, almost all day, every day. They swam, they ran around, they picked wildflowers, they swam some more. The little ones especially just look so good - so alive! Even through an SPF 50 Katie has tan lines (I didn't even know she tanned, I assumed she'd be a burner like me) but she's overcome her fear of water, happily wading into the lake up to her armpits (she still doesn't like getting her face wet, but one step at a time).
It was heartbreaking to come home. Here in the city they just don't spend as much time outside. Our yard is TINY, and it's not fenced. It's bordered by a private sidewalk that is supposed to be just for the use of the condo complex but in reality the entire neighbourhood uses it as a short-cut, so it's fairly busy. The nearby park is often overrun with teenagers who have nothing to do - so they sit up on the jungle gym and smoke and swear. Actually going anywhere with the babes is exhausting, I like taking them to Mooney's Bay or Hog's Back to feed the ducks but the effort of packing up cups/snacks/diapers/the assorted crap they need, getting them into the van, carseated, driving there, parking, getting them out of the van, running around awhile then doing everything again in reverse - well it's daunting. And the sitter must feel the same since she never takes them anywhere (she seldom even takes them out to her fully-fenced-but-damned-noisy yard). I really need to move out of the city.

My leave is officially over and I'm going back to work on Monday, against the reccomendations of the health care professionals I've been seeing. I simply have no choice. I have exhausted all of my sick leave (and then some) and we can't make it without my paycheque. I'm grateful for the time I did have, especially for the opportunity to spend so much time with the babes. I've learned some new coping strategies and I'm going to give it my best shot. I don't know what will happen since all of the things that pushed me over that proverbial edge 5 weeks ago are still there, but I'll take it one day at a time.

If that doesn't work there's always booze :)

Today James and I (and my coworker T and her DH) spent the day as volunteers at the HOPE volleyball tournament. The weather turned out to be much better than expected and four very deserving charities (including one dear to the heart of a good friend of mine) received a great financial boost. Here's T and I in our volunteer shirts (forgive the retarded look on my face, it was after our shift and I was a bit sun-loopy)

So many changes coming in the near future. Hope we make it.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home