que sera, sera

I used to have good days and bad days - now I tend to measure in hours, even minutes. I've had a good half hour, I've had a bad 20 minutes, whatever. The past 12 hours or so I've been wound up so tight, and for no reason that I can see. Just an odd pervasive sense of impending doom. So much of my life is up in the air, so much in transition, so many changes either happening now or in the near future and I dislike this unsettled feeling. I suspect that's a large part of the problems I'm having right now. I've never been a spontaneous 'que sera, sera' kind of chick, I like to know what's happening, what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, who will be there, what they'll be wearing - well, you get the drift.

I keep trying to have a good attitude, trying to focus on the positive but it's so much harder than I remember. It's so much easier to lock the door, turn on the radio and wallow. So much more predictable too.