Far from transcendent
Will this week never end? We haven't slept a whole night yet, one or both of the babes has been awake at least once. Last night was completely weird: somewhere around 1:30am C suddenly sat right up in bed listening intently, then he jumps out of bed, I ask what's going on, he says he can hear Jonah crying. I'm hearing impaired but we have a baby monitor in the kids' room and I couldn't hear him through it. Turns out Jonah was crying - from the hallway closet downstairs. He was awake, and very confused! We think he might have sleepwalked and then woken up in the closet. None of my kids have ever walked in their sleep before so this is new territory for us. Guess the baby gates are going to have to go back up!
Over the past few days I've had conversations with 3 different people about active parenting, about why people chose to have kids if they're only going to sit idly by, watching Oprah or surfing the net, intervening only to settle a sibling dispute or make snacks. But I can't judge: while I normally love playing with the kids lately I haven't been. Lately I've been coming home from work, throwing some crap together for dinner and vegging. And it really shows, Jonah has been bordering on hyperactive, Katie has been super cranky, they're begging for my attention. I can use exhaustion, bad weather and work stresses as excuses, but none of that changes the obligation I have to these little people to actively parent them. Yesterday Katie wanted to paint, I said no though my only reason was I was reluctant to drag out the paints and easel, then deal with the inevitable clean up. How do you motivate yourself to get down on the floor and push cars around, or have endless Barbie weddings, when what you really want to do is curl up in bed with a trashy magazine, drink wine and lock the door?
Over the past few days I've had conversations with 3 different people about active parenting, about why people chose to have kids if they're only going to sit idly by, watching Oprah or surfing the net, intervening only to settle a sibling dispute or make snacks. But I can't judge: while I normally love playing with the kids lately I haven't been. Lately I've been coming home from work, throwing some crap together for dinner and vegging. And it really shows, Jonah has been bordering on hyperactive, Katie has been super cranky, they're begging for my attention. I can use exhaustion, bad weather and work stresses as excuses, but none of that changes the obligation I have to these little people to actively parent them. Yesterday Katie wanted to paint, I said no though my only reason was I was reluctant to drag out the paints and easel, then deal with the inevitable clean up. How do you motivate yourself to get down on the floor and push cars around, or have endless Barbie weddings, when what you really want to do is curl up in bed with a trashy magazine, drink wine and lock the door?
2 Comments:
Poor Jonah! I can't imagine waking up in a closet...actually I can, it was my nightmare as a kit after accidently watching Poltergiest
It is hard to find the energy ALL the time to be an active parent I think..I know there are days when Pip is lucky I remember to stick a toy in front of her. Don't be too hard on yourself, allow yourself a week off from Best Mommy in the World, we won't tell, we promise :)
For me, I think it's the winter that does it. I am definitely in the "throw crap together for dinner, have a glass of wine, fall asleep in front of the tv as soon as possible" mode right now. So is Eric... so we aren't doing too well in terms of house work, playing with kids... etc. I am trying to force myself to teach my son some new card games - I can't stand go fish or crazy 8's anymore!
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