Back to life, back to reality
So I'm back at work.
The past 10 days at home I started feeling like me again. Being back at work only 2 hours and already I'm stressed out, actively fighting tears and miserable.
The kids were a joy this morning, got up, dressed and out the door easily. Katie voiced her displeasure at going to the sitters but she didn't fuss. Jonah didn't fuss at all but the look he gave me as I said goodbye, it was like I'd betrayed him. Broke my heart.
I don't know if I'm only seeing what I want to see but Jonah was a different boy these past two weeks. He slept through the night EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. His language skills seemed to explode (he kept saying "mama all right?" - that's a real sentence not just a word!!!) The tantrums were minimal and normal almost-2-year-old tantrums. Maybe it's just my eyes seeing what my heart wants to see but it sure seemed like he was majorly improved having me there.
I've been fighting back tears all morning (and frankly losing the fight a lot). It just seems like everything points to what the right path is but that path has such massive roadblocks preventing me access.
The past 10 days at home I started feeling like me again. Being back at work only 2 hours and already I'm stressed out, actively fighting tears and miserable.
The kids were a joy this morning, got up, dressed and out the door easily. Katie voiced her displeasure at going to the sitters but she didn't fuss. Jonah didn't fuss at all but the look he gave me as I said goodbye, it was like I'd betrayed him. Broke my heart.
I don't know if I'm only seeing what I want to see but Jonah was a different boy these past two weeks. He slept through the night EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. His language skills seemed to explode (he kept saying "mama all right?" - that's a real sentence not just a word!!!) The tantrums were minimal and normal almost-2-year-old tantrums. Maybe it's just my eyes seeing what my heart wants to see but it sure seemed like he was majorly improved having me there.
I've been fighting back tears all morning (and frankly losing the fight a lot). It just seems like everything points to what the right path is but that path has such massive roadblocks preventing me access.
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